VOH Child Graduates from High School in Sonoma, California

written by Thuy Linh Tran

With a diploma in her hand and a proud smile on her face, Hai Wiederkehr graduated in June 2006 from Sonoma High School with a 3.9+ GPA and honors in soccer and guitar. Hai now plans to pursue a career in dental hygiene at Santa Rosa Junior College.

It has been quite a voyage for this orphan from Da Nang. Hai still carries the memories the two most influential people in her life: her mother and Mr. Hoc, a former principal at EMW's Village of Hope, a safe haven for orphaned, displaced and deaf children in Da Nang, Vietnam. When she was five, Hai remembers falling off a bicycle and crying for her mom’s help. The help never came but only a life lesson that she will never forget. “No one will help you in your life; you have to stand up and take care of yourself,” her mom warned. “I’m not going to be here for you forever so you must realize that you are the only one who can help yourself.”

Sadly her mom’s warning was timely. She died a year later in a car accident. Hai never knew her father, who abandoned the family before she was born. He too later died in a car accident. Hai’s closest relatives are her older sister, an aunt and elderly grandparents.

Hai was one of the first ten children to live at VOH when it opened in 1993. Adjusting to her second home was difficult, but Hai grew to bond with her extended family of friends, four of whom she still maintains contact with to this day. “It felt like I had chores to do all the time,” she recalls with a laugh, “but I came to realize that it was a different life with different rules I must follow.”

Although at first she fought the strict routine, H?i now appreciates the discipline it instilled in her. At VOH she found a mentor in Mr. Hoc, who treated her like a “daughter, not like I was a student. “Whenever sad or lonely, I would talk to him at his office,” H?i recollects fondly. He would put everything aside to give me his full attention. I am forever grateful for his advice: Now you live here but one day you will leave VOH and life will be different on the outside – more dangerous and difficult. You need to learn to protect yourself, learn to be strong.”

In 1994, a retired Swiss couple visited VOH and began supporting Hai and other children at the Village. After six years of regular correspondence and visits with Hai, the Wiederkehrs started the paperwork for adoption. When complete, the process brought Hai and another child from VOH named Them to Sonom, California in 2002.

At first the girls were homesick for family, friends and food. They cried every day. They would spend time with the Vietnamese manicurists at the two nail salons in town. To communicate they carried a note pad and Vietnamese-English dictionary to draw pictures and jot down new words. Within six months, however, they became conversant and made new friends at school.

The Wiederkehrs found that “Every day is an adventure” in cross-cultural adoptions. Raising the girls revealed interesting cultural differences. The girls had been used to bathing fully clothed in public, a common practice in poor rural areas of Vietnam where villagers share a communal water well or river. They would also wear pajama-like matching outfits in public, as this is the standard fashion back in Vietnam. Slowly they learned to enjoy the privacy of their own bathroom and dress like their peers at school.

The new family returned to Vietnam in 2004 for a visit. The girls stayed with their grandparents and relatives for a few weeks while their adopted parents traveled the country alone. When it was time to leave, the girls were happy to return to America, their new home. Hai says. “We have more opportunities in America right now for our dreams.”

However, she still gets homesick for Vietnam. And when that strikes, Hai says she remembers the fun times with friends at VOH. They used to sneak out of the compound during noon siestas to pick mangos in the neighbors’ yards. Taking turns, each would throw her sandals up into the trees to loosen the fruits. Occasionally a sandal or two would get stuck in the trees. Identified with their names, the sandals eventually got returned to VOH. They would receive punishment, says Hai, but the excursions were worth the trouble.

 

To support the Village of Hope, click here to make an online donation. Or, call EMW staff at 1-800-561-3378.